the “just know” feeling
Has anyone ever told you that when certain uncertainties come at you in life, you will “just know” what to do? My favorite is the whole love/marriage thing: you’ll come to a point when you “just know” that he is the one, and that it’s time to put a ring on it–saying a forever farewell to your single status. Moreover, I remember being oddly stressed as a seven year old about how a mother knew when she was ready to get to the hospital and give birth; my mom told me “you just know.” (I totally did not trust my “just knowing” abilities and now wish she could’ve tried to explain the whole water-breaking thing).
Maybe I’m not really great at the “just knowing.” I thought I “just knew” where I wanted to go to college, and I transferred. I “just knew” that I wanted to go into the Peace Corps in Sub-Saharan Africa, and I recently turned down the offer. I also “just knew” I wanted my bedroom to be painted a heinous bright blue in the seventh grade.
I’m still paying for that one.
There are, however, two things that I truly believe I “just know.”
Sometime in my life, I will live in the mountains. Seattle. The Rockies. The Adirondacks. East coast west coast, I don’t really care that much. I can’t explain it, but I “just know” that I belong there–somewhere–amidst the woods, lakes, dirt, moss, fires, log cabins: the whole nine yards.
Secondly, and perhaps even sooner than my mountain lodge, I need to go back to Africa. I have this odd connection to the whole continent. Call it an extreme over-simplification, but for how incredibly diverse and complex Africa is, I feel a wholeness. I will go back soon and do something worthwhile. “I just know.”
What do you “just know”? (If you “just know” who I’m going to marry, where I’m going to end up living, what sort of career path I’ll take, so on and so forth…feel free to give me a heads up).