believe i am update
I’ve written about getting my Believe I am Journal, and how it helped me rest up and push through an awesome 10 mile run. And now, I want to go back to the initial goals I set and see if I’m making any progress… (fingerscrossed)
Gain back my speed.
This is still on my to-do list. I had grandiose plans to get back on the track after Wineglass and find that 200 and 400 meter speed I had in high school. However, after I took some time off after my first marathon, I late-in-the-game registered for New York, had one week to get in some LSD (long slow distance) and then taper — again. And then I got hurt. And then Sandy happened. Marathon was canceled. And now I am forcing myself to take 3-4 weeks off. So here I am, probably not so speedy.
Move outside my comfort zone.
Which takes me here. Originally, this goal only meant my “physical” comfort zone. And I was well on my way: I started consistently running sub-8’s on runs. I ran a bit faster and a bit longer than what I felt was comfortable, but calmed myself down and realized pushing my limits would not physical kill me. (I am living breathing evidence!) But … now I’ve sort of created a new plan, which is moving me outside my “mental” comfort zone. My weekly mileage is at a good ol’ zero. I had a nice conversation with my stubborn self, where I realized that my pained feet, sore legs, and exhausted body needed a break. While running is such a stress reliever for me, I’m learning to find relief in other ways: yoga, stretching, meditation, and writing. I do not like rest, but I understand that my body needs a damn break. All I had to do was look at the workouts I logged in my journal for reinforcement…
Stop being so hard on myself.
Alas. I feel like all of these goals intertwine, which I like. I am taking this rest in stride. I am not worrying about the lack of mileage right now, since I know the recovery will be put to good use. I have big, big goals for Eugene in April, and I am beyond excited to start training hard to reach those goals come January. I’ve devoted my winter to Eugene, so until then, I am going to #gowiththeflow so I can feel rested, strong, and capable.
Yet, all the while knowing that if I don’t run what I want to in the spring, that’s OK too. Because all I want to do is feel this happy crossing the finish line, no matter what the time on the clock says.