Is it time for Eugene yet?

As I enter the final stretch of marathon training and am knee/neck/head deep (though probably underwater…) in peak training, all I want to do is toe the line. I have no idea if I’m ready, but at this point, I just want to race.

These last few months of training have been nothing short of a roller coaster. I’ve had fantastic runs where I’m smiling the whole way, and others where I’ve pulled over to cry into my frozen hands. And that’s what’s most frustrating: I’m hardly able to predict how I’m going to feel from one training week to the next. Sometimes work keeps me up past midnight. Some nights I just don’t sleep well. Other times I can’t turn down seeing friends. Or it’s snowing out. Or it’s cold. Windy. I’m hungover. Or in Costa Rica. Whatever. But no matter what, I still run.

And lately I’ve felt like crap, but instead of trying to figure out why, I just keep going through the motions. I went on a 10-mile tempo run today even though I kneeeew I felt off, and my body finally gave me what I deserved: After 4 relaxed miles (where I felt sluggish) and 3 at tempo pace (where I felt terrible), I threw up in front of all the lovely tourists trying to sign up for helicopter rides on the Pier. (Sorry!) Then I proceeded to walk 2 miles home (it was cold) and collapse in bed, feeling more worn out than I do after long runs. 

And yeah — there’s no question this marathon plan is making me faster and stronger. My pace has improved. My endurance has improved. I haven’t gotten injured. But unfortunately, improvement in the running world doesn’t mean that running faster or longer becomes any easier. If anything, knowing I can stretch my boundaries further makes me work even harder.

Which is awesome, rewarding, and also really hard to maintain.

So long story not so short, this 16-week ride of feeling awesome! feeling terrible! with training is wearing me thin (anyone else? please?) and I am more than anxious to just race my little heart out. Luckily, it’s only 3 weeks away. So close! And to not make this a blog post from negativity hell, here is a necklace I recently found that my parents gave me back in high school  — I’m wearing it everyday until the race to hopefully send positive and fast vibes my way. Heeeere’s to hoping!