>Oxymoronic

>
I don’t really know what to write about.


I have no anecdotes to note concerning the sketchy streets of DC, as I no longer live there. I can’t complain about waitressing, since that’s long over. And I can’t comment on any mishaps or interesting characters at the gym, since exercise has apparently been long over as well.

This month is definitely not going to be a boring one, it’s just not exactly blog-worthy. I’ve fallen back in love and am rebuilding a relationship. I’m listening to Big Tree songs on repeat to build confidence and feel comfortable with their music. I’m seeing family and friends. I’m resting. But, like I said, I’m not about to indulge about my love-life with the internet world, or share how I’ve spent the majority of today on the couch..eating (too late?)

So instead, I will just continue to write about myself. This whole blog-thing is still a bit uneasy for me, but I’ve come to accept that if you don’t want to read about LAURA SCHWECHERL, then, well..don’t. But if you do, you’re sort of weird, but by all means, continue on..

…..

I’ve recently realized that i contradict myself quite often. Not in the sense that I immediately say one thing and do another, but I have certain values and goals that I stick to, along with other idiosyncracies that are dissonent with these values and goals. For instance!

I am extremely active and extremely lazy.
I will run five miles at the gym. I’ll lift weights, hike a mountain, and work on my feet all day. Yet, I refuse to wash my face before bed if I’m too tired, I often wont get up from the televsion to find the remote and change the channel (I’ll sit and suffer through the hour-long infomerical), and wont even fathom going upstairs to put on a pair of socks even if my feet are freezing.

I judge books by their covers and wine by their bottles.
I am well educated. Heck, I’m a college graduate! I consider myself fairly intelligent, yet I still only buy books that have interesting covers. Even if I heard the book is amazing, I wont read it unless it has a cool cover (texture is an extra plus). Same goes with wine. While price is most important, looks are a close second. I bought a bottle of wine just because it was called “pancake” and had an absurd smiley face on the front. I bought another that had a purple giraffe. Both wines sucked, but their bottles WEREAWESOME


I ride motocycles in dresses and birkenstocks.

I have a keen sense of direction and always walk the wrong way.
I’m good at knowing where I’m going. Give me a map or read off some directions and I can figure out my way around a new town or city. Yet no matter WHAT, I tend to repeatedly walk in the wrong direction when I exit the NYC subways. I usually walk atleast one avenue or two streets in the wrong direction before I realize I am..just..so wrong.

I am extremely patient and have the worst attention span.
I’ve lucked out with the patience gene. Stick me on a line to fill a prescription and I can whistle and wait for 30 minutes. I’ll sit on public transportation for hours and find contentment just staring out the window, and I can usually fill my days with excitement prior to seeing family, friends, or a loved one. But at the same time, ask me to sit and watch a 2 1/2 hour movie and I’ll be extremely hesitant. I love to run, but I have to play an endless amount of mind games when I’m on the tredmill to trick myself into staying on the machine. I can only read one chapter of a book at a time, regardless if its 20 or 200 pages (another contradiction…). And concerts? I’m usually wondering when the encore is going to happen after the second song. Le sigh.


I hate people that constantly text…and I text them to tell them that.
No commentary needed.


I love vegetables almost as much as I love butter.
Maybe this one isn’t so bad. I’ve learned over the past few years that I just really love vegetables. Is that weird? I’m not crazy, I’m not dieting, I just…really..like them! That’s great! But, as much as I love cauliflower and carrots, I love butter. Not margarine, smart balance, or that i-cant-believe-it’s-not-thats-such-a-lie-of-course-you-can-tell-stuff. Butter. When I was younger I would sneak into the fridge and cut off slabs from the butter stick. I’d try to covertly eat butter packets at restaurants. Now that I’m older, I would take a piece of bread and butter into the bathroom when at work and eat my “lunch.” I think that butter on muffins is necessary, even if they’re baked with two sticks already. And I would continue to sneak into the fridge and cut off some slabs if I did not know about that whole artery clogging “thing.”

I love to travel and hate to fly
I really want to see the world. I want to go to Sengal, and I want to go to India, France, Switzerland, and Argentina. Washington, Wyoming, Alaska and New Zealand are up there, too. My dream job is to be a traveling journalist, or a travel writer, or a “travel-something-or-other.” Problem is, I hate to fly. Absolutely Despise. I convince myself everytime I’m on a plane that it’s going to crash, which is never fun. I can never be completely sober on a plane or I’ll go crazy. But, I’ll do it. I’ll do it everydayfor the rest of my life if given the opportunity to travel. Will flying more frequently relieve myself from my fright of flying? Doubtful. But I’ll do it.


I hate talking about myself and I have a blog where I write about myself.
Another one that goes without saying



And now, I have to pee since I just drank an entire bottle of seltzer. And I should put on socks, since my feet are icecubes. But… I’m too lazy to get up. So instead, I’ll stay on the couch and watch The Bachelor with my mom, since I sort of hate the show and contradictions in my life create…harmony.
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About Laura

marketing director at Possible. formerly at Greatist. Still running, finding zen, and searching for the perfect bloody mary.

Posted on February 8, 2011, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. 3 Comments.

  1. >i've had that before!!!!Hahaha and i bought it for the bottle..only. Sometimes I luck out..

  2. >You never texted me about the texting thing!

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