doin my duty
A few weeks ago I was graced with the opportunity to be on a jury. When I went to the courts for my summons, it seemed like there were thousands of people there, all crossing their fingers that they would be dismissed. Yet somehow, at the end of the day, I was one of six that was put on a case.
You should have heard the stories people were making up for the attorneys! Car accident case? My four brothers all died in separate car accidents. (Separate. Really?) I hate to make decisions. I am really bad at making decisions. I can barely dress myself. I flunked out of college. Help. I might have to take time off work? I started a job three years ago and am still afraid they wont like me not coming in. I might get fired. This makes me nervous.
What did I pitch? That I may or may not be in Africa in a few weeks. Guess that didn’t matter.
The first day of the trial was yesterday, and while I’m not allowed to speak about it AT ALL (or else my lips will be sewn together, or my tongue cut off, something of the like), I’m going to just point out the fun stuff.
When you walk into a court room, everyone in the “audience”? stares at you. You’re the six they depend on; no matter what goes down, the six of us can avenge anyone we want, be as evil or as civil as our personal will allows! So powerful! We happen to be a young jury–most of us are in our mid-twenties. I’m sure they don’t like that. Us children.
After you sit down in your super-important order (I don’t really get the point), the judge talks to you like…you’re five..explaining the difference between the prosecutor and the defendant, what the lawyers can and can’t say, and my favorite: if anything unlawful is said during this case, I ask you to dismiss this from your minds. Sounds like something straight out of Harry Potter, no?
As the trial went on (and on, and on) I tried my best to not let my ADD take the best of me. I did listen, yes, but I also observed other ..important things that were going on in the court room. Firstly, some dude man on the stand that is about 100 years old had a snake tattoo on his arm. How cool! And the guys sitting in the back with the suits on, who are they? There were no witnesses, so are they just well-dressed friends? And the sign above the judge, could you try to fix that? It currently says In God We rust.
I think the judge saw all of us jurors start to slowly lose our minds, so he called a ten minute “recess.” We went into our little room and checked all of the empty munchkin boxes, talked about how we should bring a deck of cards tomorrow, and asked if anyone else saw that awesome tattoo.
Clearly, justice will be served.
Off to round two !