This was another run-filled weekend, and a great one at that. On Saturday, Danielle, Jocelyn,  Meggie, and I ran the Northport Cow Harbor 10K and had a freakin blast. The weather, crowd-energy, and overall organization of the race was awesome.

With 22 miles on the calendar the following day, I knew I shouldn’t race it. Buuut, I was afraid that once the gun went off, so would I. So when Meggie told me she was hoping to PR, I offered to run with her and be her pacer and “coach.” I wasn’t sure if my words of encouragement and the one “ok if you want to pr we gotta go NOW”  actually helped, but regardless, Meggie ran AWESOME: a 46:38 finish (7:30 pace!) and over a minute PR. GO MEGGIE. Ms. Jocelyn wasn’t racing either, but she still managed to killllll it. And Danielle (obviously) crushed the course, finishing at the front of the pack despite not training for the race. NBD. 

Other musings: Joc, Meggie and I supporting Picky Bars and Oiselle ala tats, a ton of free seltzer, cheese, and beer at the finish, and Danielle grabbing a celebratory bud-light immediately after the race. That’s my girl.

The four of us left Northport soon after to get back to the city, so after a 6am wake up call, an 830 race, and a trafficy drive back to BK, I crashed. Hard. Then I remembered some of my co-workers/friiiends were at a beer garden in Williamsburg, so pulled myself out of bed so I wouldn’t accidentally fall asleep at 4pm. Plus, a little beer does the body good, right?

I got home around 9pm, made my first loaf of pumpkin bread since it’s SEPTEMBER, sort of almost ate half of it, then tried to fall asleep early since I had a 6:30 wake up call.

I was really anxious about this run. I have never run 22 miles before, I was pretty exhausted, and I was afraid my legs would feel tired from the 10K. I had running “nightmares” all night, and kept waking up in the middle of the night. Finally, I gave up and got up at 5:45, even though I wasn’t planning on meeting Jocelyn until 8am. Stress mess much?

We finally found each other along the East River and decided to go over to the West Side for nine or ten miles, then loop back around. The first 10 or so miles of the run were rather pleasant, but theeen my mind got the best of me and I decided to freak out over my stiff legs while poor Jocelyn (aka my mom) had to convince me I wouldn’t keel over in two weeks up at Wine Glass. By mile 12 or 13, I was a happy camper again.

(Jocelyn here looks really happy, since this is right before we departed and she would no longer have to talk to me. Bye Jocelyn!) 

At about mile 15, we parted ways since she told me I should practice picking up the pace for the remaining miles. I said goodbye to human inspiration and plugged in my headphones for some music pick-me-ups. I started running 7:30’s and felt GREAT, until I was running back over the Williamsburg Bridge at about mile 19. The bridge is basically one long annoying hill, and  I felt like I was going to…die. I fell apart and slowed waaaay down, and turned into a complete mental case. I wondered why I picked a hobby like running instead of something a little more low-impact. (Chess?)  When I crossed the bridge I had two miles left, and deliriously shuffled around Bedford ave before ending back up at my apartment. 

I grabbed ice out of the freezer, a sandwich out the fridge, and plopped myself in a freezing tub while I wondered why I put myself through this. Jocelyn, I think, was on a similar page:

Looking back, the run wasn’t awful (I love running with friends, so thaaat part was great) but I didn’t feel as strong as I wanted to, especially at the end. What I’m mainly battling with is the mental stuff — and especially being afraid to push myself out of my comfort zone. Ever since beating myself to the ground in HS xc/track, I’ve been hesitant to really stretch my limits and see how fast I can run. I’m not actually sure what I’m capable of because I’ve never tested myself: Maybe I’m a 3:40 marathoner, or maybe I’m not. Or maybe a marathon isn’t the right distance for me. I have no idea.

Somebody feeeed me answers! (And more pumpkin bread, it’s almost gone now…)