Dear Diary,

I have never really seriously and consistently written in you. BUT! I have always taken the time to find a spare notebook, piece of paper, or even a receipt to write down a fleeting thought or emotion. And aside from this blog (where I don’t disclose any of my deep and darkest secrets, you’re welcome) I never really found a regular rhythm to my writing-madness.

Nor have I actually taken the time to think about, and record, certain goals I want to reach — especially when it comes to running. Over the past year, running has come back into my life and transformed it in so many ways: from applying for a job at Greatist and running Hood to Coast with Nuun, to making a ton of new friends and running my first marathon (two days!). Soooo, I think it’s time to get a little more committed to both my love of writing and running, and come up with some important goals.

Which brings me to Believe I Am. Believe I Am is a company of designs and apparel  that act as visual cues to promote inspiration and positive thinking. And as we all know, running is so incredibly mental, and any sort of tool that can spark optimism and personal strength is, I believe,  awesome. Moreover, B.I.A. reached out and offered to send me their training journal for runners, which helps log and track workouts, create and keep goals, and make running FUN.

To be honest, I have politely declined any other product pitch I’ve been sent for this blog for whatever rhyme or reason. But, I totally dig the message behind the B.I.A training log, and think it will be a great tool to help me create some concrete goals…and hopefully crush them. I’ll also be showing you snippets of my journaling on this blog throughout the coming months (yeah, a diary within a diary, talk about META) to give you an inside peek into my brain. Apologies in advance.

First duty? Create a goal (or goals) I want to achieve by January 5th, 2013. Here we go:

Gain back my speed.
I miss the days when 400’s didn’t terrify me and sub 30 200m splits were child’s play. If I could do that when I was 17, I can surely do that now. Building speed takes consistency, so I really need to go back to the track and start from the ground up. No more satisfaction with slower splits.

Move outside my comfort zone.
Which leads me to this. I think I have it in me to be faster, I’m just afraid of really pushing myself to that level of super discomfort (that in the end so worth it). But I want to be tougher and try to actively run faster on the roads, do more tempo’s, run more races, and see what happens. Worst case scenario? I slow back down a bit. It can’t kill me.

Stop being so hard on myself.
Maybe it sounds hypocritical, but I need to keep everything in perspective. I run because I love it — because it’s an incredible emotional release and physical reward. I’m not competing against anyone but myself, and there’s no reason to get mad if I don’t run or feel as well as I hope. Besides, a 5-minute mile or a 3:30 marathon time does NOT make me a better person.

At the end of the day, all that matters is I’m having fun while challenging myself, which can only make me a stronger person, inside and out. And that’s all I can really ask of myself.