Welcome to English Class 207; today you will be learning some new words and phrases.

In other words, I say weird shit.

And you’re going to read about it. 

First up is LOL. I started saying “lol” as a joke to make fun of aim lingo, but then I started using it so regularly…in every day conversation…that it would be hypocritical of me to say I still use it insincerely. LOL, or “laughing-out-loud” is quite universal, and I use it in place of the words “funny,” “humorous,” or even “hahahah.”  Moreover, it can be used as a noun, verb, or adjective! Let’s go to the chalkboard:

“Oh man, that was so LOL.”  Adjective. 

“That movie was really funny, I LOL’ed all night.” Verb.

“LOL.” Noun. (right?)

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Next is a series of words I use that pretty much explain why I’m single.  I usually say things like yo dude, or hey man. I really like referring to a guy as man when I’m talking to him, which seems like a sort of masculine thing to do. Also, when I should respond to thing guys say with an “I agree!” or “you’re totally right,” I say word. 

Nice looking guy: “Hey, my name is Dean. What’s yours?”

Stupid me: “Yo dude, my name’s Laura.”

Nice looking guy: “Oh cool, my sister’s name is Laura.”

Stupid me: “Word.”

Stupid me (to friend): “Where did that nice looking guy go?”

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Next is my take on “you’re welcome.” If someone ever thanks me, I ALWAYS say no worries. I have no idea where this came from. Whatever. (Word?) No worries, it’s all good. I say that a lot too. It’s all good. 

  Because it is. Right?

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This next one is very important to me. Hard Chilling. I don’t know where I came up with this phrase, but it holds a very special place in my heart.  I have a friend from college who still tells me that her dad asks about me from time to time, inquiring if “Laura is well, and is she hard chilling?” Now listen: hard chilling isn’t just an act, it’s a mindset. Think, meditation for hipsters. Maybe.  It’s hard to put down into words, but just know that when times get rough, you should sit down and hard chill. 

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Lastly, dt. This stands for downtown, and everyone should use it as leisurely as I do. Wherever I am, if I want to have even moreee fun, or go on an adventure, I suggest “going dt.” You can be in Texas, New York, Sri Lanka, I don’t care. You should all go dt. And while you’re at it, have a dp. (I’ll let you figure that one out for yourselves.)

Class dismissed. lol.